Relationship expert reveals the ‘worst thing you can do if someone isn’t interested in you’

Jun 01, 2025 07:09 PM IST

Relationship expert Jillian Turecki reveals the biggest mistake people make when someone isn’t interested and shares how to handle rejection with self-respect.

Coping with rejection in love or dating can be tough, especially when feelings aren’t reciprocated. Many people struggle to process the situation, often reacting impulsively or taking it personally. Relationship expert Jillian Turecki shared in her May 31 post the worst thing you can do when someone isn’t interested in you and offered insight into handling rejection with grace, confidence and self-respect. (Also read: Relationship coach shares tips on getting marriage planning right: How to handle parents, relatives and more )

Relationship expert shares insights on handling rejection with confidence and grace. (Freepik)

Why do we chase people who don’t choose us

In the video, she says, “If someone just isn’t interested in you, the worst thing you can do and it’s what so many people do is say, ‘Oh, you’re not choosing me? Let me do something to get chosen. Let me change myself. Let me hide the truth.’ We often think it’s love, but really, it’s just lust or an attachment to a fantasy of what could be. Deep down, we’re afraid of being alone, afraid of not having children, afraid of the future.”

How to handle rejection

She goes on to say that these feelings are nothing to be ashamed of. “These are real, legitimate fears. Get in touch with them, befriend them, and understand what you’re going through emotionally,” she advises. “Stop strategising to win over some Joe Schmo who doesn’t even know who they are and definitely isn’t right for you because they’re not choosing you. Go for someone who does.”

She captioned the post, “If someone isn’t interested in you, the goal isn’t to win them over. The goal is to remember who you are. We lose ourselves when we treat disinterest as a challenge. Also – How many people have you obsessed over who, in hindsight, wasn’t even that remarkable?”

“Let that be the lesson: don’t try to prove your value to someone who can’t see it. Go for the person who does,” she advises.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.

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