Compliments are a way of showing appreciation. Be it for appearances or the way we look, or the way we behave, compliments can make our day better. When we receive compliments from people we love, we feel more beautiful and better. However, sometimes, we may struggle with receiving compliments. “Many people struggle with accepting compliments; often, feeling a surge of anxiety, it’s commonly reflexive to reject the compliment or give a compliment back to shift attention or shut down,” wrote Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders. Here are a few reasons why getting compliments may make us feel uncomfortable.
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We are used to being criticised: When we are brought up in dysfunctional homes, we are so used to being criticised all the time that a compliment can feel foreign to the mind and body. We may face difficulties in understanding the compliment and taking it in a healthy manner because we are not used to it.
Our expectations for ourselves are very high: We often set so high expectations for ourselves that we are never able to match up to them. This also makes us feel that we are never good enough. Hence, when someone else compliments us, we feel that we are not ready to receive it.
We do not like the attention: Be it for the sake of safety or for people pleasing, we orient ourselves to feel small. Hence, when a compliment comes our way, we are not able to take it because we do not like the type of attention that comes with it.
We are concerned about being self-centered: Through various familiar messaging or religious upbringing or culture, we have absorbed the idea that getting compliments can make us too proud of ourselves, and in turn, turn us into self-centered beings. Hence, we try to reject compliments.
We do not trust people: When we have trust issues with people, we have a difficult time understanding if their compliments are true or if that is a way of getting things done their way.
