In a relationship, it is important to understand when to connect, and when to separate to have some time for ourselves. Finding the balance between embracing intimacy and being self-aware is important for laying the foundation for a strong and healthy relationship. “Part of being in intimate partnership means that sometimes we are in sync with one another, and sometimes we are out of sync. An essential aspect of navigating the vicissitudes of life and the frustration, suffering, and anxiety that come our way is learning how to self-soothe and to receive soothing from others,” wrote Couples Therapist Jordan Dann. “Of course, there are many people who did not experience secure attachment in early childhood, or worse had to survive adults who were not available and responsive to their needs. In this case, working with a therapist to learn to attach, regulate, and self-soothe may be an important part of healing,” the Therapist added.
Self-validation: It is natural for us to look for validation from the partner. However, we often put so much effort into seeking their validation that we lose a bit of ourselves in that process. It is important to remember that we can self-validate ourselves and our emotions.
Self-preservation and regulation: When we do not find the strength to deal and regulate our emotions, we often turn to our partner for emotional support. While this is a healthy transaction in a relationship, we should also learn the art of self-preservation and regulation so that we can differentiate when we need the partner, and when we are enough for ourselves.
Being out of sync: In a relationship, we do not constantly need to be in sync with our partner. There might be times when we feel out of sync. The best way to address such situations is by talking about it and having clarity.
Give ourselves time: instead of thinking of the time when we are out of sync as a waste, we can turn to ourselves, give ourselves time, work on ourselves to become better versions of ourselves.
