“Why am I so easily attached? We can ask this question in so many different contexts. Perhaps you invested all your efforts in a relationship with someone who you finally felt might be ‘the one’. You were so full of enthusiasm that you inadvertently pushed them aside. Or maybe you were swept up very quickly in an intense, all-consuming relationship. And things cooled off before you knew it. Or maybe you’re just uncomfortable with how quickly you feel at ease with people, And you should keep your heart safe. Whatever the situation, there could be a number of explanations for your question, “Why do I get attached so easily? And there are several things you can do to become less attached. (Also read: Do you get triggered in your relationship? Here are the 4 most common reasons )
Reasons You Might Attach Too Early in Dating
Talia Koren, a popular dating coach, often took to her Instagram platform to share invaluable insights about the dating world. In her recent post, she shared six common reasons why individuals may find themselves attaching too quickly to new relationships.
1. Fantasising about the future
If you find yourself dreaming about the future with them more than you’re focusing on the facts and staying present, you’re probably going to get attached to the fantasy early on.
2. Feeling the pressure
Whether it’s pressure from external sources like family or pressure from yourself to find a partner, this can cause you to attach to someone too early. A heavy focus on the outcome might influence you to force a connection.
3. Falling for their potential
You meet someone who triggers your anxiety, but you can envision them changing into the partner of your dreams. You attach to the idea of who they’ll be in the future instead of seeing them for who they are now.
4. They’re love bombing or leading you on
Sometimes this is intentional on their part, sometimes not. But we can attach too early if we get wrapped up in the sweet things they say (even if their actions don’t line up). If something feels like it’s moving too fast, then it probably is.
5. Low self-esteem and lack of self-love
When we aren’t our own secure base, when we only feel worthy or seen when someone chooses us, we fall into the trap of early attachment. Instead of getting to know someone to decide if they’re worth getting attached to, we build a connection quickly just to feel safe.
6. Scarcity mindset
Similar to pressure, feeling as though you’ll never meet anyone else to date can cause you to attach early. This limiting mindset keeps you focused on what could be lost, so you cling to a meh connection even harder.
7. You just want to be in a relationship
When you’re dead set on being in a relationship, you’ll try to make it work with anyone who seems willing – even if they’re not the right fit.
