A conflict is natural in a relationship. Be it having disagreement on a petty thing or a life-changing decision, arguments help us to understand the perspectives of the partner better. “It is actually the default in our human DNA to be immature in the midst of tension. The key is not to be angry or offended by our immaturity but to be able to notice it in ourselves. We can’t transform what we can’t see. I can shift to making mature choices when I can see and call out my immaturity. And often, the most mature thing we can do is take a break from the argument so we can take a look at ourselves and how we are being immature in the conversation,” wrote Couples Coach Julia Woods.
Here are the signs that we are being immature during a conflict:
ALSO READ: Signs of an emotionally immature partner in a relationship
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Blaming: This is a toxic behaviour pattern during a conflict and can lead to harm in a relationship. We should stop blaming the other person instead of seeing the mistakes that have been committed from or end. Blame games can lead to greater harm and lead to frustration and resentment.
Making it about us: Instead of making it entirely about us, we should focus on the harm that the conflict is doing to the other person and also the relationship we share with them. We should not just focus on the impact of the disagreement or the argument on ourselves.
Emotionally unavailable: We should stay invested in the conversation and try to understand the perspective of the partner. Being emotionally unavailable can ruin a healthy space for communication and make the partner feel that we are not invested in the relationship.
Being controlling: Being controlling and trying to dominate the emotions of the other person is a toxic trait. Instead of that, we should be good listeners to the partner and try to understand their emotions.
Being vague: We should not try to avoid the conversation by being vague. Pushing the conversation for another time just because we are not comfortable with the difficult conversation can lead to frustration.
